Awkward Things I Say To Girls


IT ALWAYS SEEMED LIKE THE RIGHT THING TO SAY AT THE TIME

Girls are not deaf, apparently.

I’m sitting in my cubicle doing work. All of a sudden, a really cute girl walks into my cubicle.

Here’s the thing. There aren’t very many cute girls who work in my building, mostly due to the fact that my company employs a ridiculous amount of 33-year-old men. And anyway, I know who all the cute ones in my building are. Cute girls that I’ve never seen before walk into my cubicle unannounced about once every never. What does this one want? Does she want to talk to me about a work thing? Will I get to have a conversation with her? Maybe she really likes my analysis and wants to learn what makes me so amazing at my job! I’m instantly excited.

So I say, “Hi!” in a really loud and friendly voice. A bit too loudly, though. She jumped, and I think I heard an echo. She did say “Hi” back, though. Softly.

Then she watered the plant and walked away.

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