Awkward Things I Say To Girls


IT ALWAYS SEEMED LIKE THE RIGHT THING TO SAY AT THE TIME

“Are you ticklish?”

For the first time (that I know of), I’ve decided to write about an awkward thing I said to a girl who reads this blog. I was pretty nervous about how she’d take it, and plus this is probably the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever posted, so I called her to talk to her first.

I bet you’d like to listen in, wouldn’t you? Fine, twist my arm. Here’s what I remember of the interesting part.

“Listen, a few weeks ago when I visited you and stayed at your dorm . . .”

Timeout. Yes, I said dorm. But she’s a senior. That’s all I’m going to say about that. Okay, time in.

“. . . I did something awkward that I want to write about on my blog.”

“What?” I think that’s what she said. She might as well have said, “Which one?”

“Well, the thing was, I thought you were adorable and cute, and I wanted to increase the amount of physical contact that was happening, so, that’s why I tickled you, and I think it’s funny, so I’m going to write about it if that’s okay with you.”

Seriously. I’m 25 (and a half) years old. I work in middle management for a Fortune 200 company. I like football and beer, and over the summer I grew an outstanding beard, if I do say so myself. I know that tickling is a super amateur move once you are out of, oh, kindergarten.

But three weeks ago, there I was, getting ready to go to sleep on the floor of this girl’s dorm room. I think it was the second night I spent there. I thought about how cute she was, and how nice of a girl she was, and how I wanted to flirt with her more, and before I could think about it I reached over, (very rudely, you could say) poked her in the side, and asked:

“Are you ticklish?”

11 Responses to ““Are you ticklish?””

  1. Susan Says:

    I’m going to start a competing blog called “Things You Could Have Said Instead That Would Have Been Way More Awkward,” and the first entry would be that this episode is not so bad. You COULD have said “Do you like math/James Blunt/’happy endings’.” Any of those would be way worse.

  2. i heart dorks Says:

    Whoa, lame. But, that’s how Matt realized our first kiss. I totally called him out on it afterwards, but I guess it got the job done.

  3. Chris Says:

    The most awkward thing a boy has ever said to me was “how do you like your eggs, scrambled or fertilized?” I would have TOTALLY fallen for “Do you like math?”

  4. lisa Says:

    I must say many guys who tried to get ‘nearer’ have tried the ticklish approach, including my current boyfriend (and we have been together for over 4 years now, still going). I think it works perfectly for its purpose. Nothing awkward ;)

  5. Greg Says:

    That’s awesome. So is this blog. Nice work.

  6. Awkward Things I Say To Girls » Blog Archive » My first kiss ever wasn’t nearly as awkward as you might think Says:

    […] the cutest and most ticklish blonde flute player in the universe (I think it is okay to admit that tickling was a key component of my game back when I was 15), but despite a heavy amount of apocalyptically […]

  7. Rob Says:

    Dude, you’re stealin’ my moves!

  8. Girl Says:

    i’m ticklish. i love when guys tickle me.

  9. Sillyme Says:

    Hey, I guess here is as good as any place to write about the most erotically charged thing I can think of… that’s where my thoughts wander to from reading about tickling. Maybe if spell it out here I can get it off my mind and get on with my work: Full-body scrub with a 4-day beard. Am I weird?

  10. jackie Says:

    I am supper ticklish I can’t stand to be tickled, I’m ticklish all over! people tickle me all the time, but I really hate it when they tickle behind my knees, I totally freak out. they used to call me squeaker in high school because thats what I would do if they tickled me, I hate it I hate it I hate it…lol

  11. stinkables Says:

    I agree. I’m also super ticklish, and i actually Do hate it when guys tickle me. I like to say to them ‘I’m not crying from laughter, i’m crying because it hurts!’ Haha. But i do think it’s a cute thing. As long as they stop straight away!

    Btw, i recently started reading your blog after searching ‘awkward’ in Google. And i must say, I’m impressed. Me and my friend love all things awkward, we even wanna get an ‘awkward’ tattoo in an awkward spot. We haven’t decided where this spot is yet haha.

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