Friends share beds all the time as, like, just friends. That’s not weird. (a prologue)
In Love With My Best Friend
Prologue
I woke up in the morning with my arm around her. The sun was streaming in the window the same way that they play light adult contemporary music in dentists’ offices. It’s not going away, and it’s not the worst thing that’s happening to you, so you just pretty much have to deal with it.
She woke up and stretched, then got up sleepily.
“How did you sleep?” she yawned at me.
“I slept better after you grabbed my crotch in the night.”
“I did? What a good dream that was.” She got up and started reaching for bathroom things.
“It would have been better, but I fended you off.”
“Pity.” She left, showered, returned, and dressed. “Look, I am going out tonight with my boyfriend, so I won’t be around.”
“Okay. Tell him I say hi.”
“And then I’m moving into my new apartment tomorrow. It’s so nice of you to let me stay here this week. Have a good day!”
And in a puff of green tea and cucumber smelling girliness, she vanished off to work.
I rolled over to look out the window, and quietly wished against hope that someday, she’d be my girl.
—
“She’s totally in love with you. Can’t you hear it in her voice?”
“That girl is bad news, buddy.”
“She’s so perfect for you! She’s exactly what you need.”
“She did what? Okay, she gets a new nickname. What’s a good word? Oh, I know: Succubus.”
Those are the sorts of things my friends said to me about my best friend in the last two years of college. I only heard the good ones. From the summer of 2002 to early June, 2005, I knew that someday, somehow, we’d be together. It was meant to be. Destiny, you could call it.
You could call if that if you want to throw up.
Look, you: if you tell stories to your friends about a girl you’re friends with, and they start pleading with you never to see her again because she’s eating your soul, it is not destiny. It is a sign that, maybe, you should check your soul for bite-marks.
Or, you know, whatever. Ignore your friends. They never cared about you anyway. Allow your soul to be eaten. It feels warm, and, if anything, tickles a little.
—
In August of 2001 we met, and in the summer of 2002 we became friends. In late May of 2003 she lived with me for a week. In June of 2004 I made her cry, and then in June of 2005 the whole thing built to a final conclusion that is as improbable as it was inevitable and necessary.
But none of it was a date.
January 29th, 2007 at 6:01 pm
I love your blog. I’m a new reader (female), and I do think it’s cute to read. Keep posting, you’re a great writer!
January 29th, 2007 at 6:29 pm
Thanks! That’s good to hear.
I’m convinced that my readership is 75% female. Someday I’m doing a poll.
January 29th, 2007 at 10:19 pm
I would think it was meant to be had I been in your place too- acquaintances, then good friends, and then, well, you know…
January 30th, 2007 at 7:00 am
I’m convinced your readership is much more than 75 % female.
Also, if you make a friend of the opposite sex cry, that’s always a sign.
It’s interesting to hear about such a story. Because in my life, acquaintances->friends->you know what never took more than a couple of weeks.
January 30th, 2007 at 10:23 am
i think i love you.
please, please keep writing. you are hysterical. i have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.
July 2nd, 2007 at 1:24 pm
[...] FYI, this is an It’s Not a Date story post. New to the story? Start at the beginning. [...]
July 11th, 2007 at 7:42 am
[...] FYI, this is an It’s Not a Date story post. New to the story? Start at the beginning. [...]
July 25th, 2007 at 9:41 am
[...] FYI, this is an It’s Not a Date story post, and the below-described escapade is most definitely not a date. New to the story? Start at the beginning. [...]
August 9th, 2007 at 7:44 am
[...] FYI, this is an It’s Not a Date story post. New to the story? Start at the beginning. [...]
August 17th, 2007 at 6:05 pm
This writing is fantastic, as an FYI I thought I’d point out, you’ve got a great appeal to a male audience too. The Sensitive Type(tm), and the hopless romantic; the stereotypes that do exist somewhere out there. Keep it up, this is one of the best opening pages I’ve read.
August 20th, 2007 at 1:33 pm
[...] FYI, this is an It’s Not a Date story post which, I’m warning you, contains poetry. New to the story? Start at the beginning. [...]
November 8th, 2007 at 7:02 am
[...] FYI, this is an It’s Not a Date story post. New to the story? Start at the beginning. [...]
November 20th, 2007 at 6:32 am
[...] FYI, this is an It’s Not a Date story post. New to the story? Start at the beginning. [...]
December 12th, 2007 at 8:24 am
[...] FYI, this is an It’s Not a Date story post. New to the story? Start at the beginning. [...]
April 4th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
“yes
hes amazing
and HE IS MINE
I SAW HIM FIRST”
this is what my friend said to me before she told me to read this blog, and I understand why she said what she said now. Thought the lady had gone loony!!
April 17th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
hey, you are so funny. did she really grab your crotch?
April 20th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
I love your writing style. I’m the same sort of awkward with guys. I want to catch up on all of your posts!
September 20th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
Aww this is cute. I hope she becomes more than your BFF =D
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:09 am
Although I am one of your few male readers, I too find your blog extremely enjoyable as well as downright impressive. I love your righting though I find myself in a very different scenario regarding girls. Although I’m much younger than you and this may purely be due to the issue of maturity I find that almost 75% of my good friends are female. Perhaps because they are more empathetic and mature at my age (14) or because the qualities I posses regarding to friendship are more appealing to girls than boys.
What I’m trying to get at is that I find it extremely interesting so see your contrasting, awkward experiences with girls to my comfort with girls, especially uncanny at my age. Of course it’s extremely different with girls one has I feelings towards.
Please keep on writing, it’s truly inspirational.
April 21st, 2009 at 12:05 am
I love this.
(: