Awkward Things I Say To Girls


It’s the End of an Era

I’m not going to say awkward things to random girls anymore.

Don’t worry about your supply of old awkwardness. There’s plenty of that to go around – I’ve already got a list that will last me for (literally) three months, and I’m thinking of things all the time that I want to cover eventually. If I want to write this blog for the next 85 years, I only have to come up with, like, 4,400 more old awkward stories between now and my 110th birthday. I think that’s totally doable.

But, honestly, though I am not entirely sure how things are going to go in the long run with this girl I’ve been talking about all week, I really just don’t want to say awkward things to other girls. I want her to be my girl, even though she’s so far away it’s insane, and the more I talk to her, the more I know I’m doing the right thing. So, no more current awkwardness.

At the same time, I have two additional things I want to add to the schedule.

It Isn’t A Date
In Love With My Best Friend

At the beginning of my third year of college, I met a girl who was absolutely stunningly gorgeous. The following summer, once I got up the nerve to talk to her, we became friends, and I found out that she was also ultra smart and ridiculously funny.

Naturally, I fell head over heels in love. But she always seemed to have a boyfriend who wasn’t me, and she always seemed to be the best friend who was just out of my reach.

Until I finally couldn’t take it anymore.

This is the most dramatic, life-rendingly bittersweet thing that has ever happened to me. Critics (my best friends) say things like “That could be a movie!” and “That’s, seriously, the best story ever. You need to write that thing down.”

So, expect weekly installments in the adventures of Champagne Girl (made popular in 5 Awkward Things You Don’t Know About Me).

Awkward Things I Typed for You
Sharing the Wisdom Like I Share the Awkward Love

This is my freaking blog, after all, and it’s about time I started treating it like one.

Coming soon, expect the unexpected every Friday. Maybe it’ll be a list, like, say, 5 things girls can do to meet interesting guys in Richmond. Maybe something annoyed me and I just need to talk about it.

Or maybe I said something awkward to a girl, and I need to tell the story. These things happen.

And there you have it. The new schedule starts on Monday, with the first “IIAD:ILWMBF” episode. Awkward Archive is moving up a day to Wednesday. And, finally, who knows what you’ll get on Friday mornings. It could be anything, really. You’ll have to wait and see!

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