It’s a cold, snowy, Sunday evening in Cleveland 7 years ago. Since no one I know is nearly as interested in the Academy Awards as I am, I decide to go watch it in the dorm common room, where I know a bunch of other people (who I don’t know) will be.
So, just imagine the situation. There I am, sitting on one end of a stupid uncomfortable dorm couch. There’s a cute girl sitting on the other end, and various other people are scattered about. All I really remember about the girl was how adorable she was, mouthing the words to “You’ll Be In My Heart” as Phil Collins sings away. So, I lean over, and say . . .
Well, you’ll just have to guess for yourself what I said, since I honestly can’t remember. I don’t think I asked her out or complimented her, but I’m pretty sure I was trying to be funny. All I remember is that she told me to shut up. Hey, use your imagination – we know each other well enough at this point. I’m sure you can get pretty close.
What I will not leave you in doubt about are my choices for each of the 24 categories of Academy Award. I have a bet on with Ross, Val, and Susan, because, apparently, going 8-25 against the spread on bowl games and the NFL conference championships wasn’t enough losing for me. I have decided to get crushed by my friends in an Oscar pool, too.
The Departed: Picture, Director, Adapted Screenplay
Dreamgirls: Supp. Actress (Hudson), Supp. Actor (Murphy), Song (Listen), Sound Mixing, Costumes
Pan’s Labyrinth: Foreign Language Feature, Makeup, Art Direction
The Queen: Actress (Mirren)
The Last King of Scotland: Actor (Whitaker)
Little Miss Sunshine: Original Screenplay
Cars: Animated Feature
Pirates: Visual Effects
Notes on a Scandal: Score
Children of Men: Cinematography
An Inconvenient Truth: Documentary Feature
Letters from Iwo Jima: Sound Editing
West Bank Story: Live Short
The Blood of Yingzhou District: Documentary Short
Lifted: Animated Short