Awkward Things I Say To Girls


Archive for January, 2007

“I’m going to take you in the back room, hide your clothes, and beat you with your shoes.”

Thursday, January 4th, 2007

“Okay folks, lets get started warming up.”

That’s me, directing my high school choir class when I was a senior in high school. I’m leaning over the black upright piano trying to conduct a scale with my right hand while playing along with my left, because if I don’t, who knows how sharp we’ll go.

“Again, but please try to wake up and at least attempt to blend your vowels.”

On that particular morning, the new girl was being chatty with the other altos. At that point I really didn’t know much about her other than the fact that she had just moved during the summer, she had these arrestingly dark eyes that I was extremely interested in, and that she would not shut up.


Happy Awkward New Year to Me

Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007

It was New Year’s Eve, and I was reflecting. It wasn’t a bad place to do it, really – in a bar full of people I had just met, along with my best friend from work. They were nice, although I got the feeling that one girl in particular wanted to talk to me. As in, she wanted to hit on me. Well, maybe. I thought so.

But see, here’s the thing. I wasn’t impolite to her, but I said oh, that’s interesting these things that you are saying, but then engaged in conversation with some other people. Honestly, I really didn’t want to even think about chatting up girls at a bar on New Year’s Eve.

Hopefully you haven’t spilled your coffee mug on any important work papers that you ought to be reading right now, but it was true. I have limits. Even though I was drinking and she was quite tipsy, I kind of just wanted to enjoy talking to new friends while letting my mind wander other places. Like, for example, how have my relationships with other people changed in 2006? Some have weakened while others have grown stronger. But overall, it’s been a year where . . .