Comments on: Getting Out of the Friend Zone: The Easy Way http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/ IT ALWAYS SEEMED LIKE THE RIGHT THING TO SAY AT THE TIME Tue, 19 Apr 2011 00:17:32 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Kev http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-112672 Kev Fri, 15 Oct 2010 06:41:16 +0000 http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-112672 Here's my dilemma guys/girls... I have an awesome female friend and have had strong feelings for her for quite a while. She's been a part of my life now for about 10 years, and has been my best friend for about 3. Here's the tricky part... She's actually my ex wife's cousin! She and my ex don't talk anymore, in fact, she's cut off that whole part of her family all together, and has said that they are dead to her! We talk/text just about everyday, always run to eachother when our lives fall apart, and we can talk to eachother about anything! When I hang out with her, we talk for hours, and we make eachother laugh until it hurts! I sometimes get subtle hints from her that's she's interested... She's mentioned that she has a lot of guy friends, so maybe she'll find "The One". Her voice changes when I'm getting ready to end our call, getting very soft and sweet. Our hugs last forever, lingering like we won't be seeing eachother for months. She likes spending time with me, even mentioning going places together, but I'm always working the days that she's off. So, in essence, am I just completely blind and dumb, or am I just trapped in the friendzone here? I love this girl so much, I say nothing about how I feel, because I don't want to lose her completely! What do I do here? Should I just sack up and ask her out, or go about my life the way it is? I really can't keep this bottled up for much longer, because we drink together too, and I'm a little nervous about saying something while I'm drunk! Lol! Help!!!! Here’s my dilemma guys/girls… I have an awesome female friend and have had strong feelings for her for quite a while. She’s been a part of my life now for about 10 years, and has been my best friend for about 3. Here’s the tricky part… She’s actually my ex wife’s cousin! She and my ex don’t talk anymore, in fact, she’s cut off that whole part of her family all together, and has said that they are dead to her!

We talk/text just about everyday, always run to eachother when our lives fall apart, and we can talk to eachother about anything! When I hang out with her, we talk for hours, and we make eachother laugh until it hurts! I sometimes get subtle hints from her that’s she’s interested… She’s mentioned that she has a lot of guy friends, so maybe she’ll find “The One”. Her voice changes when I’m getting ready to end our call, getting very soft and sweet. Our hugs last forever, lingering like we won’t be seeing eachother for months. She likes spending time with me, even mentioning going places together, but I’m always working the days that she’s off.

So, in essence, am I just completely blind and dumb, or am I just trapped in the friendzone here? I love this girl so much, I say nothing about how I feel, because I don’t want to lose her completely! What do I do here? Should I just sack up and ask her out, or go about my life the way it is? I really can’t keep this bottled up for much longer, because we drink together too, and I’m a little nervous about saying something while I’m drunk! Lol!

Help!!!!

]]> By: zoom http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-47923 zoom Sun, 20 Sep 2009 03:47:13 +0000 http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-47923 here is my situation. im friends with this girl pretty good friends to i really like her, ive told her how of feel about her and she says she only wants to stay friends. for some reason i still get mixed feelings when im around her. what can i do in this situation. oh and she also still has feelings for her ex boyfriend here is my situation. im friends with this girl pretty good friends to i really like her, ive told her how of feel about her and she says she only wants to stay friends. for some reason i still get mixed feelings when im around her. what can i do in this situation. oh and she also still has feelings for her ex boyfriend

]]> By: Will http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-44461 Will Fri, 14 Aug 2009 06:03:38 +0000 http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-44461 I love this post. It's great. I hate the friend zone. I have a friend I like and we always spend a lot of time together. I just don't get how she can spend 4 hours with me, we get on perfect and have the best chemistry then say c ya and go home. Back at home she must be like: "Will is so nice", whereas I am like: "I want her so bad". I dont spend so much time with people I dont like alot, and its werid cause she is just about the one I spend the most time with, of all my friends. I want out of being a really close friend. I have told her i think we should try to be more but she's not sure. It is hard because I know we'd be so good together, i can't get over her and it really annoys me now. I think that a lot of these comments are spot on. A guy really has to just take control and tell it how it is. Don't be reserved. If we are in the FZ we obviously have their respect, lets just go for it. Talking a girl into a relationship doesn't seem to work. Thats why Im going back to the good old 'ignore her" strategy. It usually works with girls. I have never tried it with a friend chick though. Im not going to be rude, i am just going to talk to other girls sometimes, not give her my full attention and remind her that she needs me. Let her know thata Im not going to be around forever. Im not an expert but when you stop giving somebody attention they really work hard to get it back. Any help or comments are much appreciated. I love this post. It’s great. I hate the friend zone.

I have a friend I like and we always spend a lot of time together. I just don’t get how she can spend 4 hours with me, we get on perfect and have the best chemistry then say c ya and go home. Back at home she must be like: “Will is so nice”, whereas I am like: “I want her so bad”. I dont spend so much time with people I dont like alot, and its werid cause she is just about the one I spend the most time with, of all my friends. I want out of being a really close friend. I have told her i think we should try to be more but she’s not sure. It is hard because I know we’d be so good together, i can’t get over her and it really annoys me now.

I think that a lot of these comments are spot on. A guy really has to just take control and tell it how it is. Don’t be reserved. If we are in the FZ we obviously have their respect, lets just go for it. Talking a girl into a relationship doesn’t seem to work. Thats why Im going back to the good old ‘ignore her” strategy. It usually works with girls. I have never tried it with a friend chick though. Im not going to be rude, i am just going to talk to other girls sometimes, not give her my full attention and remind her that she needs me. Let her know thata Im not going to be around forever. Im not an expert but when you stop giving somebody attention they really work hard to get it back.

Any help or comments are much appreciated.

]]> By: Isaac S-K http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-43447 Isaac S-K Sat, 01 Aug 2009 03:25:59 +0000 http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-43447 I'm pretty much in the same position as everyone else. I read the advice and now I'm thinkin that I gotta tell her. The problem is that I can't ever see her in person, I've only been talkin to her on tha phone everyday. We're going to tha same college and her boyfriend isn't in college (def a good thing), but tha problem is, she starts school next month, and I start it in January. Should I just tell her over tha phone and let it stew for a few months before I see her or do I wait until then so I can tell her in person? I’m pretty much in the same position as everyone else. I read the advice and now I’m thinkin that I gotta tell her. The problem is that I can’t ever see her in person, I’ve only been talkin to her on tha phone everyday. We’re going to tha same college and her boyfriend isn’t in college (def a good thing), but tha problem is, she starts school next month, and I start it in January. Should I just tell her over tha phone and let it stew for a few months before I see her or do I wait until then so I can tell her in person?

]]> By: Nathanael Nerode http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-41571 Nathanael Nerode Wed, 08 Jul 2009 03:45:02 +0000 http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-41571 "Thing is, I think he knows I’m head over heels, I mean I feel like it’s pretty damn obvious. But I get nothing…and I can’t tell him. He’s seriously my BEST friend crush or not. I’d be shattered if I lost him. I’d rather have him around knowing I can never HAVE him then telling him how I feel and risk losing my bestest bud." KC (not that you're likely to read this, but you *are* likely to be in the same situation six months later!): Tell him, and tell him *furthermore* that friendship is more important to you than romance, so although you'd prefer the romance, you aren't willing to risk the friendship. If he's at all worthy of your friendship, he will respect that. Whether he agrees to try dating or turn you down, he will make every effort to maintain the friendship despite the emotional difficulties. If he doesn't try, then, well, he's not the friend you thought he was. I've done this with three different results, the most common of which was a successful friendship; I doubt that gender really makes a difference. “Thing is, I think he knows I’m head over heels, I mean I feel like it’s pretty damn obvious. But I get nothing…and I can’t tell him. He’s seriously my BEST friend crush or not. I’d be shattered if I lost him. I’d rather have him around knowing I can never HAVE him then telling him how I feel and risk losing my bestest bud.”

KC (not that you’re likely to read this, but you *are* likely to be in the same situation six months later!):
Tell him, and tell him *furthermore* that friendship is more important to you than romance, so although you’d prefer the romance, you aren’t willing to risk the friendship.

If he’s at all worthy of your friendship, he will respect that. Whether he agrees to try dating or turn you down, he will make every effort to maintain the friendship despite the emotional difficulties. If he doesn’t try, then, well, he’s not the friend you thought he was.

I’ve done this with three different results, the most common of which was a successful friendship; I doubt that gender really makes a difference.

]]> By: Soomdat http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-38242 Soomdat Thu, 14 May 2009 00:19:30 +0000 http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-38242 it took me a while but i finally stepped up and asked this girl that i really like out but got rejected, she said I entered the friend zone and she see's me as a friend. I was wondering how i could like make her see me as more of the boyfriend type, rather than just friends. i really like her. after she rejected me i told her i still liked her and that i wont quit and she smiled and said she was happy i told her the truth.. it took me a while but i finally stepped up and asked this girl that i really like out but got rejected, she said I entered the friend zone and she see’s me as a friend. I was wondering how i could like make her see me as more of the boyfriend type, rather than just friends. i really like her. after she rejected me i told her i still liked her and that i wont quit and she smiled and said she was happy i told her the truth..

]]> By: infoaddicted http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-33919 infoaddicted Thu, 26 Mar 2009 06:37:01 +0000 http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-33919 "Mnemonic" is wanted in place of "pneumonic" “Mnemonic” is wanted in place of “pneumonic”

]]> By: ComeOn http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-33820 ComeOn Wed, 25 Mar 2009 18:55:31 +0000 http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-33820 "Mnemonic." NOT PNEUMONIC. Get it right! “Mnemonic.” NOT PNEUMONIC. Get it right!

]]> By: Gavin Ferenzo http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-33810 Gavin Ferenzo Wed, 25 Mar 2009 17:46:00 +0000 http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-33810 REALLY GREAT ARTICLE. I completely agree with everything you wrote about. Most guys don't realize that generating attraction is the first thing that a man stuck in the friend zone should work on doing. These tactics you wrote about does exactly that.. Great post! REALLY GREAT ARTICLE. I completely agree with everything you wrote about. Most guys don’t realize that generating attraction is the first thing that a man stuck in the friend zone should work on doing. These tactics you wrote about does exactly that.. Great post!

]]> By: Confused http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-25163 Confused Sat, 24 Jan 2009 18:00:40 +0000 http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/03/getting-out-of-the-friend-zone-the-easy-way/#comment-25163 Well, I've been looking all over for someone in my situation and have yet to find anyone. All the articles Ive found have been dealing with guys that are friends with a girl but want to date her. Here's my story in a nutshell: I met this girl in Nov. 2007 and we quickly became good friends. Hung out every day, she crashed at my place etc. but thats all we were truly good friends. But then about 4 months later she initiated some physical contact and it led to us making out. When we went to bed, I thought we'd date. However, the next morning she said she felt really weird about the whole thing and we decided to be just friends......for a month. Then it happened again, initiated by her and we ended up having sex. Decided to date. Things were great for 2-3 months, we went on a trip etc. but then things went downhill we started arguing a lot and had very little sex like maybe once in 2-3 weeks on average. Things got really bad in Dec 2008 and I decided to calm down and absolutely not start any fights. We havent fought since then but she had already distanced herself from me. Finally, in the past month ie Jan 2009 shes been saying that shes not attracted to me and sees me just as a friend although officially we are still a couple and she'll come and kiss me every now and then but when things start to escalate physically she'll pull away because she feels weird. We are happy when we are just hanging out or going out, she just gets weird when the conversation goes toa gf/bf area or things get physical. So, Ive been her bf for more than 10 months, we've done everything that couples do and here I find myself in the friend zone? Any comments? Well, I’ve been looking all over for someone in my situation and have yet to find anyone.

All the articles Ive found have been dealing with guys that are friends with a girl but want to date her. Here’s my story in a nutshell:

I met this girl in Nov. 2007 and we quickly became good friends. Hung out every day, she crashed at my place etc. but thats all we were truly good friends. But then about 4 months later she initiated some physical contact and it led to us making out. When we went to bed, I thought we’d date. However, the next morning she said she felt really weird about the whole thing and we decided to be just friends……for a month. Then it happened again, initiated by her and we ended up having sex. Decided to date.

Things were great for 2-3 months, we went on a trip etc. but then things went downhill we started arguing a lot and had very little sex like maybe once in 2-3 weeks on average. Things got really bad in Dec 2008 and I decided to calm down and absolutely not start any fights. We havent fought since then but she had already distanced herself from me. Finally, in the past month ie Jan 2009 shes been saying that shes not attracted to me and sees me just as a friend although officially we are still a couple and she’ll come and kiss me every now and then but when things start to escalate physically she’ll pull away because she feels weird. We are happy when we are just hanging out or going out, she just gets weird when the conversation goes toa gf/bf area or things get physical.

So, Ive been her bf for more than 10 months, we’ve done everything that couples do and here I find myself in the friend zone?

Any comments?

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