Boundaries Are For Losers
Part 3, Chapter 12
The hot ex-copy editor and I are holding hands while walking back from having cider at the sort of coffeeshop they don’t have in the south, the kind that is big enough to be a house and so cozy inside that the windows are fogged constantly in the freezing winter. I put my arm around her and pull her close. She snuggles into my shoulder.
It’s a Thursday night in March of 2003. Despite all appearances, someone else is her boyfriend. Still.
It wasn’t my idea to escalate our relationship into cute semi-harmless physical contact, but getting hooked on heroin isn’t just something you just put on your day planner either. In our case, my relationship-boundary-observing world had been shattered months before when she suddenly pulled my arm around her when we were walking along. Since them, you couldn’t stop me from publicly or privately displaying non-kissing affection if you tried, and she didn’t. I never got on base, but I was certainly doing what baseball players refer to as “making contact.” Look, plenty of people cuddle with their platonic non-single best friends during movies. Right? That’s not weird.
Looking back, it isn’t really that surprising that our relationship, which had gotten real close real quick, developed the kind of physical closeness that is prohibited before marriage in some cultures. What’s surprising is that her fratboy boyfriend never deputized the Sigma Delta Slytherin pledges to come drop a Crucio on my ass.
It’s not that he never knew. Almost to her dorm, I notice a girl take one look at us, turn around, and start walking quickly towards another dorm nearby. Under my arm, Michigan Girl says “Eep!” and pulls away, dialing her cell as she yells over her shoulder. “That was a frat brother’s girlfriend! I need to get to the boyfriend first and do damage control! See you in class!”
Oblivious to the fact that my very ability to walk may hinge on her diplomatic skills, I strolled homeward happily.
July 25th, 2007 at 9:59 am
“Despite all appearances, someone else is her boyfriend. Still.” I love that line and this whole post
j.carter
July 25th, 2007 at 10:02 am
“Look, plenty of people cuddle with their platonic non-single best friends during movies. Right? That’s not weird.”
Seriously… Is that weird? Because I’m a cuddling non-single best friend too.
July 25th, 2007 at 10:03 am
Ah, and wonderful post.
July 25th, 2007 at 10:48 am
Yes. FYI: non-single cuddling is weird. Not only weird but punch-in-the-faceable.
July 25th, 2007 at 10:56 am
Expecto beatdownum! I appreciate your non-Muggle references.
July 25th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Currently in that stage. I never really thought it was awkward till reading this. Good thing she isn’t dating a frat guy…
July 25th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
I love your writting!! I am sitting on the edge waiting for more!!
July 25th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
~Ross: Aww. You wouldn’t punch a girl, would you?
I also have girlfriends *if you see what I mean*.
July 25th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
i love the harry potter mention
July 26th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
*Had a none-single friend cuddle on during a move with the girlfriend sitting on the other side*
And was I the only one who noticed that HCE (you can’t go changing names on us mid-story!) realized that what she did looks bad but didn’t let it stop her until she thought hey boyfriend would find out?
Long time reader, first time poster. Love your writing.
July 26th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
Incognito, thanks, I thought there were only anti-cuddlers here.
July 26th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
Unless there’s an M. Night twist on the way, I’m thinking that some sweet, sweet pain’s a’comin’ - but not by the hand of any fratboys…
July 27th, 2007 at 10:17 am
I didn’t say it wasn’t weird, just that it’s not uncommon :-P
I’ve always cuddled with female friends regardless of either of us being single or taken. It was weird for my girlfriend at first, I won’t lie to you, but I think she realized they don’t take her place in any way and I’m not looking for anything more out of them.
Justin clearly was looking for something more - and I hope you’re not cuddling with someone while hoping for more than a cuddle. Or that you’ll write the story down as well, either one will work for me ;)
July 27th, 2007 at 7:27 pm
“… getting hooked on heroin isn’t just something you just put on your day planner either.”
This line is phenomenal. I have always wondered how & why people even start heroin. What propels them to say … “Eh, what the heck?”
July 27th, 2007 at 9:39 pm
ok, so now that you’re writing all this fiction on other sights about zombie girlfriends and whatever (yeah, that’s right, whatever- I want ATISTG!!) I feel like this whole story is fiction too and that makes me sad. It doesn’t make it any less interesting or well written- just makes me sad. SO is this REALLY a true story? Cause I’m kind of thinking it’s not…
July 28th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
Incognito, sorry to disappoint, my cuddling amongst friends is nothing you could make into a good story. ;)
No frat boys, no disappointed love, no emergency phone calls. I’m totally boring.
July 28th, 2007 at 7:12 pm
Hey, I discovered ‘awkward things’ through my good friend of about 12 years now, Maura, and now I’m addicted. : ) Cheers for good writing, and cheers for cuddling. This world needs more of it.
July 28th, 2007 at 8:31 pm
im doing the cuddle-thing with a good friend of mine who i know has feelings for me….and i have a bf. bad/mean idea? i just love being with him
July 30th, 2007 at 10:18 am
one girl: i go to extreme pains to try to recreate all of the situations as faithfully as possible. It’s real. If it were fiction I wouldn’t be so scared of writing dialogue!
Seriously, everything on the site is 100% accurate as far as I can remember. But I understand the confusion.
That’s part of why I was really excited to write fiction - it’s different and freeing.
July 30th, 2007 at 10:20 am
No this story is 100% true. I heard it told about two years ago before zombie fiction and the new awesome fiction was a glimmer in our collaborative eyes.
Seriously.
July 30th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Heck yeah, if you can’t appreciate the pain you’re not getting anything from the story!
July 30th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
lenfercest: The hell it isn’t ;) Well my cuddling over the years would probably make for a couple of good stories, but I think I’ll leave it to the pros.
July 30th, 2007 at 2:56 pm
Hi Justin - Just wanted to let you know you’ve hooked another reader!
I have lots of comments to make but don’t have the time just now (silly, I know, considering how long I’ve just spent on your blog… ) - but I will say this: I can’t wait for the next installment!
Oh, and that I’d like to add you to my blogroll, if that’s cool with you…
July 30th, 2007 at 9:43 pm
justin, i love this place. i’ve read everything and i am hooked. keep writing !
leelee . . . seriously ? does your bf know ?
August 8th, 2007 at 9:03 am
It’s a relief to know that boys are as autistic as girls when it comes to people they’re attracted to. I’m sure the joy of hindsight has now opened your eyes to the fact that Michigan girl was playing you like a finely tuned guitar. However, who hasn’t been someone’s autistic, acoustic instrument of love at some stage or another?
August 8th, 2007 at 7:27 pm
The excruciating thing for me is that whilst I have a very nice boyfriend I also have a platonic best friend that I indulge in cuddling (and playfighting) with. He just decided that he can no longer see me, since it is too painful for him to continue to see me with someone else.
I can only tell you that for HCE it must have been just as painful as it was for you if she felt anyway the same as I do…
I’m just glad that I found this now, just as the platonic best friend has decided he can’t see me, because now I feel that somehow I understand him and his position more.
I guess what I’m trying to say is thanks, because you have given me a different viewpoint. I would like to add that you have a wonderful way with words, so keep up the good work! I’m your new biggest fan!
xxx xxx
November 24th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
I love this blog. The Harry Potter reference was brilliant.
January 15th, 2008 at 9:23 am
reading more of this line of your blog… definitely brings back feelings for this one girl that i used to have (well they are still they and we made the 35 pack [you know… if i ain’t married and you ain’t married, then she would bare my children]). the worst for me was that she had a habit of ending in the spooning position (which as we all know does wonders for the libido)… i cant stop reading…
February 25th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
Yes, gotta say I love the Harry Potter mention.
Is it weird to cuddle with non single friends? I like to cuddle, but usually its with friends that I’ve known forever and so wouldn’t expect more from it…