I just knew.
Part 3, Chapter 16
I only spent a few nights up in Art School Girl’s cozy, strange bedroom at the top of the ancient house just off campus that she shared with three other people. It was Dumbledore’s office if he had been an art student, full of dark colors and smelling like home.
“What is this?” I said the first time I took a tour of her bedroom, pointing at spilled sand on the wood floor beneath a window.
“Don’t step in it! That’s a bird.” A bird? Oh. I noticed the tracks. “After I spilled sand one day, the bird got in and walked on it. I figured I’d just leave the tracks here.”
“Why is there a cloth over the television?”
“It just has a weird energy. My mom gave it to me, but I felt awkward with this gray gleaming eye staring at me all night. So I covered it up. I haven’t used it yet. I don’t know if I will. You remember my mom.”
I learned about her mother the morning that she (the mother) showed up early on a Saturday to take her daughter (ASG) to lunch, when I was just leaving from the previous night’s date. It wasn’t as awkward as you might think, because we were all adults. “Mom thinks you’re cute,” she said later, on the phone.
But just as I started spending significant time with someone else, things started falling apart between HCE and her boyfriend.
“It’s not the same anymore,” HCE would say, walking me home from class. “We’re going through the motions.”
“I can think of some fantastic motions you could try going through, if it would help things.”
“Hush. But then, I’ll wake up in the middle of the night, and he’ll be reading in bed and playing with my hair, and then I just remember how much I feel for him.”
“What? That’s it? That’s all it takes to win your heart? Hang on, I’ve got a book in my bag somewhere. Slow down! I can’t reach your hair when you’re walking so fast.”
And she would laugh and run, and I’d chase her like a little kid. But we weren’t spending time together anymore, because I had dates to go on.
HCE even started to get that subtle, pained look that Harry got when Sally finally started dating again, just before he insisted it was great and told her to wear a skirt on her date. She (HCE) only acknowledged it once, on a weeknight in an instant message.
“I think I’m getting a crush on you,” she said.
I didn’t believe it for a second. “Sure you are,” I responded.
“I just can’t get you out of my head. Is the timing ever going to work out for us?”
“Maybe someday. But what about that guy you spend all of your time with? You know, the other guy you spend all of your time with who is not me.”
“I don’t know. I just don’t know what’s going to happen.”
—
One Sunday morning in March of ‘03, I woke up late with a funny feeling in my stomach.
Today, HCE was going to break up with her boyfriend. I could feel it.
It was smelling snow before you open your eyes when it’s still dark. Sometimes you know these things before you know them. I decided that, if she was going to become single today, I’d better be single too.
I met ASG in the middle of campus and did it outside. She asked why I was breaking up with her, so I told her the truth.
“You’re in love with another girl.”
“Yes.” It was oddly dispassionate, like a layoff. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to let you go. It’s nothing personal. We just need to make some cuts.
“But you haven’t been cheating on me, have you?”
“No. I am not sure she even would want to date me. I think so, but I’m not sure.”
“Well, I just have to trust you on that. Regardless, I’m disappointed, Justin. I thought we could be really good.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m convinced that this is what I have to do.”
“Okay. Good night.” And she walked away.
I had a brief lurching moment of vertigo for what I’d just lost. It was gone immediately, replaced by a certainty that I was doing the right thing. This is all I’d wanted for almost a year. It was time to go talk to HCE. I was completely calm when I walked into her dorm, then her suite. I let myself in just like I had done a hundred times before.
She had put a cardboard box outside of her room, and was throwing things into it. That’s all I could see: things flying out of her room and into a box. A picture, then a few CDs. A scarf.
One of her suitemates jumped up from the couch. “Justin!” she yelped. “Oh geez, did you hear?”
Yes. “No.”
She came over to me so she could whisper. “She broke up with him. Just now. She got home and started throwing his things into a box.”
This wasn’t the dim fuzzy candlelight of romantic hunch, this was the Chicago Fire of Truth. My heart turned to lightning.
I stepped over the box and into her room. I looked into her deep velvety brown eyes, and, for a moment, nobody said anything.
November 20th, 2007 at 7:42 am
Whoa.
(Sorry. “Whoa” is about all I can muster at this time in the morning.)
November 20th, 2007 at 8:32 am
I’ve been keeping up with this story for some time now. I’m starting to get mad at HCE, I just know she’s about to do something to play with your emotions. How can she say that she likes you when she won’t break up with her boyfriend? And now that said boyfriend is out of the picture, she’s just going to start dating someone else. And play with you some more. We need more of this storyyyyy. stat!
November 20th, 2007 at 9:01 am
I’m with Emily. Whoa. I have shivers going down my spine.
November 20th, 2007 at 9:20 am
hero.
November 20th, 2007 at 9:56 am
Will this blog actually turn me into a romantic?
Great way to start the morning
November 20th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
This blog is awesome. I’m addicted and every ending is an amazing cliffhanger. Its like Dan Brown, but with substance.
November 20th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
That’s it? How can you end it there?
P.S. I love your writing :-)
November 20th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Wow! ::scoots to the edge of her seat:: And…..
November 20th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
What a teaser….
November 20th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
I swear if this « To be continued…» isn’t followed by a «…previously on AwkwardThingsISayToGirls.com » soonish, my world may just fall apart ;o) Somehow, I think we’re infinitesimally close to that foreshadowed moment in June 2004…
J. this is how your playing into my life, man ;o) Hot Project Manager turned down my date invitation, but later proposed that we get season ski passes together for this winter… she’s definitely playing off the HCE playbook. My decision to let my soul get eaten that much more, by purchasing a masochistic ski pass, is pending on the awkward outcome to ensue in chapter 17.
November 20th, 2007 at 3:46 pm
This is the best sitcom/reality tv blog crossover ever, I wouldn’t be able to survive geology without it. Keep writing ‘em! I’m spellbound.
November 20th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
I have become a total evangelist for your blog.
Happy Thanksgiving!
November 20th, 2007 at 6:13 pm
Oooh, this is so sweet. I’ve been waiting so long for the updates now. I must say it’s worth the time. You have a great writing style, can’t wait for the next one.
November 21st, 2007 at 12:32 am
I hope it worked out…you’re killing me.
And you have no idea how much I look forward to checking this blog while I’m in physics class or some such.
November 21st, 2007 at 4:38 am
grrr!
November 21st, 2007 at 9:36 am
More. More! MORE!!!
November 21st, 2007 at 11:38 am
I think you’re writing is improving. This was incredibly fun to read!
Can’t wait for the next episode :)
November 21st, 2007 at 8:02 pm
Oh my word - if you don’t marry this girl I might loose my faith in the whole pairing off thing all together. And though I don’t know either one of you from Mork and Mindy, and you live on the completely different side of the country, it’s sounding a bit like you’re (a bit) too good for her. At this point. We’ve still got like 2 years to go right?
November 22nd, 2007 at 1:15 am
Thank you.
I was in a terrible mood, having had all manner of delightfully ugly relationship troubles myself the last few nights, and I am about to go to sleep. “What the hell,” I think to myself, “Let’s check INAD. I’m sure he hasn’t updated, but I ought to–” And lo and behold, you had. And that post made me smile. A lot. Now I can go to sleep much happier.
Thank you.
+Sunshine
November 22nd, 2007 at 8:52 pm
Glad to see somewhat regular updates again, my good man! When I was in the situation I didn’t dump my girlfriend, so I’m quite curious to see how it could have panned out…
November 23rd, 2007 at 8:18 pm
=0
=0 =0 =0
Write again soon! I have exams to revise for! I can’t concentrate!
November 24th, 2007 at 12:57 am
Wow. My little brother found your site when he tried to search for the 15 Seconds of Awkwardness with Mr. T. sketch, probably the greatest accident of the year, ha, ha.
Thanks for this! I love your unique way of looking at things, and I totally empathize with your dating frustrations. At least you get out there!
Also, this blog kept me company all day while my boyfriend was out of town, I can’t wait to read it to him.
November 24th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
Tell me more!! I can’t wait to hear more of the story…but i don’t want it to end!! What a GREAT cliffhanger!
November 25th, 2007 at 9:43 pm
Oh man. Oh man. What a cliff-hanger.
November 26th, 2007 at 9:55 am
Ahh, Justin!!! This To be continued/Cliff hanger crap has got to stop!! I don’t know how much more that I can take! This A) needs to be a book or B) you need to give me the cliff notes the next time I see you!
No people - he won’t tell me ANYTHING except for, “Just wait, it gets so much better.”
Great Job, J!
November 27th, 2007 at 10:25 am
Man, this is killing me slowly. You know, like vodka kills a liver. Clean kill.
November 27th, 2007 at 3:46 pm
*gasp* go on.. go on…
dude you have women and men hanging, literally, onto your every word. Doesn’t it feel like being a rockstar? haha
November 28th, 2007 at 4:53 pm
you had me at “dumbledore’s office”. you’re a marvelously entertaining writer.
November 29th, 2007 at 6:03 am
1st of all, great blog! came across your blog when i was searching for the correct spelling of awkward
I can sometimes relate to your stories as I’m a disaster around girls.. in a good way i think.. like some bloopers turn out to be blessings in disguise.. I admit I don’t have talent for words, but I had my fair share of haikus/poems haha I just wished I could have atleast 50% of your writing skills hahaha
November 30th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Hot diggity dog, let’s get this show on the road! There is a small company in Baltimore having trouble getting work done!
December 4th, 2007 at 10:39 am
I am so entertained!! God dammit, come on… you’ve all got us waiting to see what happens next! Get off your butt and blog!! Excellent, really excellent!!
December 7th, 2007 at 12:51 am
I might lose my mind if you don’t update soon. I also might exaggerate.
December 9th, 2007 at 11:05 pm
Found your blog from MadeInRichmond’s - just stopped by to say hi!
December 10th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
Time for a new installment! I can’t stand the suspense!
Warren
December 10th, 2007 at 5:59 pm
HURRAY!!! Two new installments for me. I use to check your website daily but then after two months went by with no updates I gradually just stopped checking. I just couldn’t handle the disappointment anymore of going to your website and seeing no updates. Then when I was at lunch today I overheard the guy sitting at the table next to me try to awkwardly ask out my waitress, and I thought of you. Please don’t ever go two months with no updates again or I might have to hire someone to kidnap you, tie you down in front of computer and force you to blog. Haha. I’m so happy you are blogging again. Keep up the good work. Can’t wait for the next one.
December 11th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
New reader :]
I skipped back to the beginning so i could understand what was going on, paused after the first 2 installments so i could get a drink and some cookies, cause damn, it was like being at the movies! Without visuals..
Thanks for the great read.. update soon :]
January 8th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Hi, my names Amber i’m 14 and for somone of my age i would say i’m rather intelligent and find you’r blogs very interesting. I just came across you’r site and have to say i’m really impressed with your writing skills and i have to ask somthing
Are these stories real events that have happend in you’r life?
Anyway keep up the good work and look forward to future posts.
February 25th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Wow, I love this blog…..