The Indians weren’t that good then, either.
Part 4 of 5, Chapter 19
My whole world was just about complete.
Well, except for that HCE wasn’t actually really dating me. Yet. We went out on weekends and saw movies and had dinner, and we chatted online constantly and talked on the phone, plus we wrote notes to each other in class in the form of haikus where we told each other that the other one was cute. But, other than that, no. We weren’t dating.
Plus, I was busy limping out of school with the minimum possible academic performance. If collegiate (and subsequent) experience has taught me anything, it is this: if something comes so easily to you that you can rush through your homework and never study, which to you is a fantastic deal because you don’t really enjoy it much and want to get on to something else as soon as possible, that thing is not the sort of thing that you’d best choose as a major in college. “Wow,” you want to say of your chosen field. “I could listen to old people drone about this subject for hours! Then I want to rush to the bookstore and drop hundreds of dollars on hardback books about it that I will want to actually kind of skim!” If that is not you, then I hope you either prefer used books, or you are good at forcing yourself to do things that you find at least mildly unpleasant, which frankly is a useful skill that you wish I would acquire so that you could actually read this blog instead of refreshing it in vain. Well, college also taught me that wings and beer go great together.
Oh, there were other details. The Cavs lost a ridiculous number of basketball games. Winter in Cleveland aimed a few final kicks into Spring’s gut as she lay curled in pain on a Parma sidewalk before he took her purse, turned, and stumbled off, drunk, to sleep off another hangover. I was not getting any better at knitting.
But other than that, HCE was single, and I was single, and we spent all our time together, and so what could go wrong?
—
“I don’t think this boy is going to come make out with me,” HCE said.
Whoa. What? This wasn’t one of our typical conversations about ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, sex, literature, movies, school, politics, activism, dating, the campus newspaper, the administration, public displays of affection, private displays of affection, music, our childhoods, sports, board games, liquor, parties, Cleveland, fashion, or anything having anything to do with what we’re doing this weekend. I was on new ground and completely lost.
“Boy?” I said, playing it cool.
“The one from our softball team. I told him I wanted him to come make out with me, and I don’t know what I’m going to do if he doesn’t.”
I can think of a few ideas that I’d like to try, I thought. The filter let it through. “I can think of a few ideas that I’d like to try,” I said.
“No, you stay put. How’m I supposed to make out with him if he shows up and you’re here?”
You’re not supposed to make out with him, you’re supposed to make out with me, a fact which I will share with him emphatically if he needs convincing, I thought. The filter caught this one. “Okay,” I said, confused. Maybe she needs a rebound makeout. It isn’t as though I’m going anywhere.
June 10th, 2008 at 6:08 am
woo you’re back =]
June 10th, 2008 at 6:46 am
Ouch. Can’t think of much more to say to that.
June 10th, 2008 at 7:04 am
Justin! I’m glad you’re back and sticking to the schedule.
If I’d been your friend at the time of this story (and if you’d had time to share you hopes & dreams with a girl other than HCE), this is probably the time at which I would have forced you to face the fact that either you are a hopeless optimist or a undiagnosed masochist (or perhaps both!). Assuming you still wanted to talk to me after that, I would then have helped you work out some sort of HCE-weaning program… Cause this girl is obviously not doing you any kind of good, even now (except perhaps for providing some fascinating material for this story).
On a side note, the secret to avoiding futile frustrating repeated refreshing is RSS Feeds. It’s gotten me through these long, lonely months…
June 10th, 2008 at 9:41 am
At this point you are just looking desperate (in the story). I also would tell anyone in this circumstance to cut all ties and find someone else — it’s clear this is only going to lead to further heartbreak.
But of course I’ll keep reading. :)
June 10th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
You’re obviously in like, maybe in love.
Careful about emotions with best friends, you might think they’re amazing and want to lemakeout, but i know better from experience. It’s way too much drama to do such things with a best friend. From my past i’d suggest drinking and then hooking up, that way you can blame it on the spirits if she’s not all about it. [Of course it also makes for more issues, but at least you get your like/lust out of the way and figure out if it’s more than 9th grade emotion.]
Good luck, keep us informed.
June 10th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
You’re starting to scare me. Everything you’ve written is just freakishly similar to my situation. Could it be that you’re a future me and I’ve stumbled upon this website as a warning? Are you telling me to get out while I still can? If so, I can’t. I’m in too deep. If not, I feel your pain (or the pain you once felt if you’re not feeling it anymore). Maybe you’re playing a joke on us all and you’re actually with this girl now, meaning there would be hope for me (there’s not).
June 10th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Oh Justin, thanks so much for posting this Tuesday and feeding my awkward addiction. As always, loved this new chapter of the INAD saga, I foresee a big downward spiral though. I just hope the thought filter you developed in this part doesn’t stick around. I mean, how are you going to continue saying completely awkward things to girls if this pesky filter is going to be shooting them down. LOL. Looking forward to the next post.
June 10th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
oh nooo!
June 10th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
have you ever looked at the filter as if it had malfunctioned all the years and that is why there was all the awkwardnesses (yeaaahh)… keep on keepin’ on. hah.
June 10th, 2008 at 10:59 pm
arghneh
June 11th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
I was busy limping out of school with the minimum possible academic performance
i feel you there. i’m in the process of doing just that.
what was your major?
June 12th, 2008 at 7:13 am
Man thats called cutting your balls out and hanging them out to dry.
June 12th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
Man Seriousily, you must have lots of HP (hit points for non-gamers out there) to still stick in there after taking blow after blow, and don’t know how your poor bleeding heart takes it all. I’m so completely hooked.
June 14th, 2008 at 10:19 am
Am I the only one who noticed this? Last post was 4 of 5 chapter 18, this one is 4 of 5 chapter 19. Where did 5 of 5 chapter 18 and the first 3 parts of chapter 19 go?
June 15th, 2008 at 8:16 am
No, no, Each part has different chapters, I think.
Justin, jeez, let her go! She’s a total bitch!
June 16th, 2008 at 10:57 pm
Just lay one on her
June 17th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Parts vs. Chapters
Every single INAD blog entry is it’s own complete chapter. The chapters are NOT broken down into smaller sections. However, the story as a whole is. The whole entire story is broken down into 5 different parts. Here’s a breakdown:
Part 1: Meeting HCE (Part 1 consists of chapters 1-6)
Part 2: Summer in Michigan (consists of chapters 7-9)
Part 3: In Love, but HCE Has a BF (chapters 10-17)
Part 4: HCE is Single, Time to Make Out (chapters 18-??)
Part 5*: Devastated and Broken Hearted (chapters ??-??)
So you see, this is all of chapter 19. There are no missing sections. As a whole story though we are in part 4 of 5. Hope this helps. Also, Justin, feel free to correct me if I misinterpreted what a particular Part was suppose to be about.
*Obviously I’m completely guessing what Part 5 will be about, but based on my own personal experience, for I had a scaringly similar relationship in college, I foresee this ending badly.
June 17th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Oh, also Justin, I want you to know you made me very very sad today. Here it is Tuesday and no new blog entry. Cry :’(.
June 19th, 2008 at 10:53 am
Aww, I’ve followed this blog for a while, and I just love it. It’s so quirky and fun. Keep up the awkwardness. :)
Oh, and I completely get how you can still have so much hope concerning HCE. I have one of those for myself, only in male form. So keep going for it, becuase your hope gives me hope for my guy! lol
June 23rd, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Jesus, I just wasted an hour and a half reading your blog.
You are my new freaking hero.
no lie.
Me and my boyfriend had just broken up and your awkwardness has already gotten me out of depression.
I love you.
Write more!
July 2nd, 2008 at 12:54 pm
I agree with Ashley. I similary went through a recent breakup and the blog was a form of cartharsis.
You have to be one of the most compelling writers that I have ever read. Your unabashed truthfulness is refreshing and inspiring, and is relatable to many. I hope that one day you become a novelist so that we can further experience your technique.
In the meantime, keep the story coming!!
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:37 pm
why do you keep abandoning us?
write morreeee =]
(please)
July 3rd, 2008 at 2:53 pm
welcome back!!!!!!!
love ur blog >
July 7th, 2008 at 11:13 am
the last few entries have really lacked that teen angst I had come to admire in your writing. if you’re bored with it, end it.
July 7th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
A friend of mine had linked me to your blog and I’m finding myself saying “wow, I can totally relate”.
July 7th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
To finish the thought from the first post (wherein the enter key was accidentally hit), I can’t wait to read more whenever you start posting again.
July 11th, 2008 at 8:15 am
Your blog was referred to me by a friend…and I guess, the Dawson’s Creek scenario has puntuated more people’s lives than one would think, but your articulation of it kicks serious ass…I feel for you dude…good luck and should all else fail, refer “her” to the site in your final “down in flames” moment…hope you blog soon
July 12th, 2008 at 11:33 am
come on!!! how am i supposed to feel better about my own awkward existence without a new installment!? (btw you are the inspiration for my own latest blog entry. you’re famous!)
July 15th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
Come ONNN Justin!
Waiting for a new entry, and nothing is coming… Its been like a month!!
AGH! I can’t even handle it, it’s an injustice to your massive fanbase!
July 16th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
please keep writing!! :)
July 18th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
I do not have the gumption or level of internet privacy to blog about my love life. But I will say one thing– SPOT ON. It’s like watching my life spiral, except I’m not a boy and I have the wicked, wicked powers of femininity to keep me walking on water.
Glad to see you’ve been blogging. I switched over to blogspot because it’s easier to edit HTML that way and I wanted to punch WordPress in its goddamn mouth.
Visit me. It’s lonely. And there are bears.
July 21st, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Where d’you dissapear to? Thought you were planning on entertaining us more regularly than this :P
July 24th, 2008 at 11:54 am
On the real. Lay on the heartbreak. Hurry up.
July 28th, 2008 at 7:42 am
i stumbled upon your blog one day when there wasn’t anything new on rvanews. i have now read every post and am officially in love with you/r blog. work is unbearable without you, please update!
August 22nd, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Somebody figured out he has all these addicted readers and has decided to write a novel or something instead of blog fo’ free. Cash in like the “Stuff White People Like” dude. Justin wants to get paid for being played.